Adventures of a Broad

it feels like it's been forever since i added anything to this... it's been a busy few weeks. Most recently the Enron verdict came down and i realized just how much of a news junkie I really am. what do ya know... I've even started to have a social life. It's amazing. The weight continues to drop off... I've hit the 10 pound mark. Accomplishments seem to be coming left and right... I could never have imagined that losing someone I thought was so important in my life could be so freeing. The wings I had tattooed 6 years ago have re-emerged... I feel like because they've been hidden so long, that they never really had the chance to spread.

Our Deepest Fear
by Marianne Williamson
from A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

I had an interesting conversation with one of my cousins tonight. We chatted a bit about another of my cousins who is on vacation in England right now. I miss her. I hope she's having fun. I'm worried because he said she didnt want to come back. Which is understandable. I had a great time there, I didnt want to come back. I'm worried because she has a life and a future here. I've been her.. running away from responsibility, and the tough things. But you can't spend your whole life running. Eventually you have to become the thing you hate, and grow up. Some people don't. Some people will always be their parent's child. They behave like they deserve something before they've earned it. I'm worried because my cousin has been through a lot... more than she should have had to go through... and it's tempting to stay in a place that is NOTHING like where you were. Sometimes only after do you realize you're in a place that is worse than the one you left.

We get so much enjoyment from them we never want to look away. They burn the brightest and fastest... and then they're gone. We loved them, but don't mourn them. There will be other stars.

SCHOOL FINANCE
Lawmakers prepare to confront school funding again
AUSTIN (AP) -- Texas lawmakers are reconvening in Austin today
for a 30-day special session on school finance.
The session comes just six weeks before a June first deadline
set by the Texas Supreme Court to figure out how to designate money
other than property taxes to fund schools.
The court last year ordered a freeze on school finances if the
state cannot figure out a new source of funding.
The session will be the fifth effort in two years to fix the
state's 33 (b) billion-dollar school system. There are
four-point-three (m) million students in the system.
The Legislature will start with a proposed tax package designed
by a panel of state business leaders. It would expand the business
tax and raise taxes on cigarettes by one-dollar per pack. The
effort is thought to have more public backing than any effort so
far.

......my question is what kind of mixed message are we sending to kids if we fund public schools with tax money collected from cigarettes?

so i've decided i'm tired of being told to quit smoking. when did it become socially acceptable to comment on other people's habits? you wouldnt walk up to an obese person and tell them to quit eating that mcdonalds. it's impolite. but when it comes to smoking... non-smokers feel not only is it their right to tell you, but their DUTY. they're just looking out for your health.

to combat this, i've decided to start telling people to start smoking if they feel the need to tell me to stop. or, maybe i'll pinpoint one of their bad habits. dunno. it will be a social experiment... i'll let you know how it goes.

actually... meeting. We had James Denton (of Desperate Housewives fame) at the station this morning. He's adorable. Shorter in person that I had imagined. He's tattooed on his left arm... for those of you who care, and didnt know.

The joys of working in television.

For those of you who may not know yet, while I was on vacation, I lost 4 pounds, and 2 days after I had gotten back, I lost another 2. I attribute this to the amount of walking I did while on vacation. (And some in part to the decreased amount of eating) I walked everywhere, everyday I was on vacation. And I had a great time doing it. Now, I've been back for a couple of weeks, I'm finding it difficult to keep in that rhythm. I don't walk to places I need to go, or want to go, I drive. Everywhere. The weather has a lot to do with that as well. It's muggy and uncomfortable here. Mildenhall was cool and crisp, with a lovely chilly breeze. Walking was easy because you warmed up enough while you were out to be comfortable, but not hot. And, I had places I wanted to see in town, like the grocery store. I'm not kidding, I really enjoyed walking around the grocery store. I probably could have easily taken down a number for a cab and called one if I wanted to go somewhere, but why? It's within walking distance, and there was a nice resting spot between me and town. It's not like that here.

The point of all of this is that what I have been finding myself doing is parking at the very back or far off places in car parks here, and walking the distance to the store. Then walking around, getting what I need and walking back to the car. It's only a few more steps, and I'm not battling people for parking spaces close to the front. It's not the same, but it's the best I can do for now. I must retrieve my pepper spray from home, so I can go out and walk around more, without feeling nervous.

I miss being on vacation... for a LOT of reasons. Mostly I miss the atmosphere of being around people, chatting, and having a good time with a pint. So I invited a friend of mine that I hadnt seen in a while to a bar I'd never been, and we had a great evening out. This pub was not chosen randomly however. There is a rhyme and reason to everything. This particular pub, should they ever decide to not try to save money on the light bill, would very much remind me of the half moon. There's a dart board, and a wide variety of beers, lagers, ales, pales and stouts on tap. They even have strongbow in a can. It's a friendly little spot halfway between work and home, so I may end up there more often. The tab at the end of the night though was more that 7 pints should have been I think. I bought him dinner after. We had matzo ball soup and chicken penne pasta at this all night new york eatery. It was a welcome escape from the trials of returning to my home.

Truly. I have some of the best friends on the planet. And I keep meeting the most amazingly wonderful people. And the people I meet who arent so wonderful, I learn lots from. Which is not to say that I dont learn from the wonderful people. It's just a different lesson. From the not so wonderful I learn things that will make me a better person. From the wonderful, I learn the depths of compassion, and what it means to be truly generous.

I just felt like sharing.

so, it's been a week that i've been back.

Yesterday, the high was officially gone. I woke up this morning and came to work, and fell right back into as usual a routine as I could. I drank 2 cups of coffee before I started to feel semi-normal. I miss the pub. Mostly I miss waking up and not having a schedule. Having things to do, and mucking about are great, but this 'have to be here at 3am' shite is getting to me. I rather enjoyed waking up, taking my time getting ready, looking presentable... now I mostly just roll out of bed and into clothes and off to work.

I miss listening to people bitch with an english accent. It hit me hardest when i arrived at ohare. All I saw were people on their cell phones yacking in the most god-awful southern or obnoxious accents. It was harsh to listen to. A berating of the aural senses.

I will say this tho... I had the most fabulous day with my friend Jake. We got lost looking for a place downtown where he was going to get a new cell phone. All the while it was raining. That lovely rain that patters on your face... not the big fat drops we usually get that obscure your winshield while youre driving. A walkable rain. And we did. we walked. and the wind blew, and i swear, if it had been 25 degrees colder, I would have felt like I was still on vacation. But it's in the 60's here in the morning, and we're expecting a high near or just above 80 today. and today it's muggy after all the rain. I was so hoping it would stay like this weekend was, sunny, and coolish... great spring days that you can lay out in the sun and read a book in.

After strolling around downtown cracking jokes and making a great day out of what would otherwise have been absolute crap, we went to a movie. V for Vendetta. It was great. I had heard unpleasant reviews, and was cautious about wanting to go. Oh, and ice cream, lest i forget after getting completely soaked by the rain, and being cold, we got ice cream. I really enjoyed the movie. I was quite pleased with it. I have the EPK for it from work.

I'm looking forward to friday. A couple of the ladies I work with and I are going out for lunch. I'm going to have a pint and kick back for a while. Maybe the weather will cooperate and we can dine al fresco.

it's now 10 hours later... i'm still up... have been. cant bloody unwind. i even tried slowing down my pace. i went to starbucks and had a coffee and a croissant. there really is something to giving yourself 20 minutes a day of just you and your bliss time. whatever it may be.

I have returned to houston... it was a relatively safe journey. we had one wiggle after touching down in chicago... frightened me. i wasnt sure the the plane would stay upright. beyond that, i'm ok... just tired... of course it's now been 23 hours awake... and i still have work. goodnight!

I've missed updating this! i've been moved to another location. no phones.. no internet... no sky tv... only BBC 1-4 and whatever movies are in the dvd collection. I may only get back to update occasionally from here out, just know that i'm ok, and enjoying the friendlieness and hospitality of sussex.

note: I was wrong... it's not sussex, it's suffolk. think what ever freudian slip-like thought you would like to about that one.

it didnt rain today. it snowed... and hailed. not huge hail, just little bitty hail. and only a few snowflakes. it could snow some more.... i loved it.

I got to Heathrow and through immigration just fine... what i dint plan on was not being greeted at the airport. bugger. so here i am now half past 8 waking up people on the other side of the world cause i have no ride! Finally at 1030 I placed a call and got one back on a pay phone no less... its rob, he's sorry he's late, it's just his ride decided to work all day, and he'll be about an hour and a half. I went and had another cig after that. But at least i knew i hadnt been forgotten.

Day one consisted of getting from heathrow to the house then the pub... straight to the pub. an hour and a half in line, then 3 hours wait... i needed a drink. Had myself 3 proper guiness...then went back home and fell dead to the world for 10 hours.

If i had a paid account i could post by phone, only my phone would have to work. which for those of you who may have trie dcalling will find it doesnt. bit of a pain really, but ehh... it's nice to unplug.

I miss you all, but i'm having a great time... no worries, everything is grand.

Happy birthday chau!

So i slept in until a quarter of one, only to realize that we had to be going here shortly. I have all kinds of aventures to write about... including the airport... I'm even working on video. You can see England as I do! I had a great sleep tho.

Today we shop, and probably more drinks in the afternoon. Yay!

If you would like to leave a message for her, do so at the bleep. bleep.

I would write all the pre-recorded (not live) journal stuff i've got only it's late... and it was a long day. Will update soonest!

I'm sitting here listening to one of my all time favorite Frank Sinatra albums... and doing laundry. The day seemed to pass so quickly! I spent much of it with my friend Jake. We did abnormal normal boring things... walking the dogs, flea bombing his apartment, cleaning out our cars, lunch... It really was one of the most enjoyable days. I didnt want it to end, and yet, I knew he had other things to do, and I had laundry and final checking to do on my bags.

It's now a matter of hours. at 9pm, it will be 12 hours until I leave work. If I make quick work of packing, and assorted other prep... I may actually get some sleep! I can't believe it!

"we feel sorry for people who dont drink because when you get up in the morning that's as good as youre going to feel for the rest of the day." Frank (that I should have saved until St. Patrick's Day)

Tomorrow... I can't believe it's so soon. I have all kinds of final ends to take care of... fortunately, I've been tying up everything as I go. This is the longest vacation I will have ever been on. I may even actually relax.

So in addition to London, I'm going to venture over to Dublin for St. Patrick's day, and maybe across the English Channel to Paris. Everyone says, "you're going to be right there... just go!" We'll see how everything lands. I have to GET there first.

I've been packed for 2 days, except for the things that I use everyday... toothbrush and what not. Everything else is really icing. Stuff I'll take if I have room or feel like I can use. I think I've done so much prep work for this that I'm beginning to feel like it's not real. Maybe it will be real 6 hours into my flight across the Atlantic when I'm so tired of watching movies and listening to music and all I want to do is go to the bathroom, but can't cause the guy next to me is sleeping. THEN maybe it will be real.

What I'm really looking forward to is meeting new people and NOT answering the phone. I love my friends. I just really want to disconnect from the tech for a while... YES, I realize the irony of an online journal. This doesnt count. I said it so it must be true!

I really have great friends. One is taking me to the airport, and another is going to pick me up from the airport. They're blessings really. It's one of those questions you hate asking people. Me I don't mind so much going to the airport. Even with the hassle of it all... I like the airport. Watching people on the beginnings of a journey. Be it going to their new destination, or returning to their normal life after. The last few times I've travelled anywhere it was because someone was dead or dying. It's also the only reason I took days off last year. Oh, and cause I was mugged.. must remember those few days... It will be nice to actually go somewhere for FUN.